Falsely accused of sexual or physical abuse?

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I know for many, this is a taboo subject. People don’t like to even think about it, much less talk about. However, it is an issue that needs to be addressed. Many men are falsely accused of sexual or physical abuse every single year. Often, during a hostile and bitter court battle. While we do not condone any form of abuse, we strongly advocate and educate people that have been falsely accused. This is my personal story of what happened to me.


What’s even more outrageous, is the fact that many mothers use this tactic to gain an advantage for a custody or visitation battle. For example, the mother of my child, when she was faced with two dozen show causes for contempt of court due to missed court-ordered visitation,  made an allegation that I sexually abused our daughter. WOW! Did that ever stop visitation and turn my world upside down in a hurry. The judge ordered all visitation cease for two full months to investigate. Let’s just forget that mom was facing jail time and possibly losing custody! Not to mention it wasn’t even a full hearing. No evidence, no witness, nothing other than a note from someone (who wasn’t even present) stating that they suspected abuse and BAM! No visitation or contact was ordered quicker than a New York minute.

What I did next

What happened next was nothing short of a miracle. There was absolutely no way that I was going to let the mother get away with this! We have had our fair share of disagreements but this was unspeakable and the lowest blow of them all. I quickly found out that you are not innocent until proven guilty, you are guilty until proven innocent when facing allegations of child sexual abuse!

After about two days of sulking, I decided that I had to fight back. But how? The only thing that I knew to do was to start the best and only way that I knew how. To start with the truth and gathering and providing as many facts, dates, and emails between the mother and I that I could. I didn’t have a very good lawyer at the time and our case had just been moved to a new jurisdiction more than 4 hours away from where I lived at the time. The court was not familiar with the case, nor how hostile it was, or virtually anything at the time. It was the very first time in front of this court.

Immediately after the hearing, I reached out to the GAL  and CASA representative. I wanted to let them know that this allegation was totally bogus and I had been fighting to be in my daughter’s life before she was even born. I even had to hire an attorney just to be notified of the child’s birth, which the mother didn’t even do that as court-ordered either. 

You better not lie

Next, I sought after and found one of the nation’s top polygraph examiners and wanted to take a lie detector test. I was able to find and locate one in the area who was able to meet with me within days. I drove over 4 hours just to go take a polygraph test and 4 hours back home, all in the same day. While many people may just sit back and do nothing and put their fate in the hands of CPS or whoever, I wasn’t. All that I had was the truth and God on my side. I didn’t have a good lawyer at the time although I do recommend hiring one if you can. There was no way that I was going down for something that I did not do nor would ever do and I was highly upset!!!  

Hire an Expert if you can

You may or may not be able to hire an expert for your case. If you can, then discuss it with your attorney. You may even be asked to go under or perform a psycho-sexual evaluation by a Dr. and even a penile plethysmograph. In my particular case, CPS found the allegations to be unfounded and we went back to court and visitation resumed. But, If you did not do anything and that’s what it takes to prove your innocence then, by all means, do what you have to do.


If you have been accused of a crime such as physical or sexual abuse or any other crime for that matter, then by all means hire an attorney and fight for your innocence! Fight not only for yourself, but your child! Fight for your freedom and fight for your life! Sadly, we live in a world where accusations occur all the time at the drop of a hat.

There is a huge, significant difference between a child that has been abused and a child that has been used as a tool against the other parent in an attempt to alienate, manipulate, or control the other parent. In my opinion, if you wrongfully accuse a person of a crime like this that isn’t true, you should be held financially and legally responsible. Especially if done out of spite, revenge or for court advantage. In addition, it takes away significant and vital resources from cases where true abuse is occurring.


False Abuse Expert

Dean Tong


“An Injustice To One Man, Woman or Child Threatens Justice To All People Equally”. – Dean Tong, Author/Forensic Consultant

Polygraph Examiner

David Goldberg



Please note the information contained on this website is opinion only and is not to be construed as legal advice. If you question the information herein, please seek the advice of a licensed attorney in your state. What worked for me may not work for you.

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1 Comment

  1. Sharon Schomaker on December 26, 2018 at 7:53 pm

    My son was accused of sexual abuse of his step daughter a short time after his divorce. He was misrepresented and coerced by a horrible attorney to plead guilty. He is starting a 27 yr. sentence in KY We as parents still believe he is innocent including he stating this. We are now being alienated from seeing our grandchildren. The ex has done many illegal deeds to other family members also. We have a new attorney.What can be done now to prove his innocence against his ex- a vicious vindictive, evil person.

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